I didn't drink more than anyone else I know. In fact, everyone I know at school is currently (on a Tuesday night!) nursing a hangover from last night because it was the end of rush and the campus police weren't paying attention. Almost everyone I know gets blacked out on a regular basis, and it's completely socially acceptable. Are all of them alcoholics? Probably not.
So what makes me one?
I got drunk at college, then got stupid and got behind the wheel. Now, I'm not defending that situation, because it is by the grace of God that I didn't kill anyone or myself, but if I hadn't gotten behind my car it would've been fine. No one would have batted an eye. Instead, because I got caught, because I left the confines of my little school, I'm an alcoholic and I can't drink anymore or else I'll get forced into state rehab (shudder). If I hadn't gotten into my car, I would've been just another college kid.
By the way - the heart/kidney/liver damage is old stuff, due to an eating disorder from which I have since recovered. I did not drink my way to organ failure by age 20, I starved myself into it from 15-19. So if you were about to say "You're an alcoholic because you did irreprable damage to your body with alcohol," you'd be mistaken.
Sorry, I seem to be especially bitter today.
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2 comments:
It sounds like you have enough going on without being an alcoholic! It would be wonderful if you were not. I agree that one drunken episode - even if it involves a DUI does not an alcoholic make.
Can you drink like a normal person? Can you stop drinking when you want to?
I hope the answer to these is "yes," and then you will never have to bother with AA. Because it really is for people who really want it.
I can, actually. All last year my friends would bug me because I never got blackout with them. I feel like it's only when I use alcohol as a coping mechanism for the rest of my issues that I get into trouble - when I just drink with friends to have fun, I can always stop myself once I'm pleasantly buzzed.
But even if I'm not technically an alcoholic, since I'm 20 and got busted and the cops and psychiatrists were involved, I have a feeling I could be in a whole hell of a lot of trouble if I get caught drinking at all in the near future.
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